I am so in love.
Had a much better night of sleep last night. Tucker woke up regularly to eat - and ate well - and became a little more alert as the night went by - which in turn made me feel much better. when Andrew left at 8pm at the end of visiting hours, I was crying a bit about it all. Just want to go home. Just tired of this hospital bed. Just missing having friends here to help out/talk to/get support from. I thank all of you who have us in your prayers. Much needed and appreciated.
When Andrew was here yesterday I left him with Tucker and went into the halls of the hospital just to stretch the legs. Saw the sign for the Interfaith reflection room and hiked up to that. Nice to sit in there in quiet and just pray. That is when the tears started for me. Just been such a hard week.
To look at this tiny creature knowing he is a part of me and to just want him to get stronger so much quicker than he is - just starts to get to you. To see them taking his blood at 2am and hearing him cry so hard while I am so tired - crushes you inside.
Then he snuggles up into my chest and falls fast asleep and I could just melt. I can't tell you how many times he has been kissed! I could just kiss and kiss and kiss him. Oh wait - I do.
Nothing in life goes as planned. I have learned that. And this was no exception. Tucker being early, me crying for drugs, Andrew having to run around town getting errands done we thought we had more time to do. But in the end - we have this sweet, amazing, adorable little boy. And he is worth it.
My butt hurts from this hospital bed as well.
My husband is amazing. He has been so wonderful through this all. So supportive and caring. He is going to be an incredible Daddy and I love him more and more every day.
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